*this information is for information purposes only. It is not intended to treat, perevent or cure any conditions, nor is intended to constitude advice on which reliance should be placed. Any information in this blog should be discussed with your health care practitioner.
So, this week we’re taking a cute u-turn and talking about SELF LOVE.
Self-love actually leads into sticking to a routine, to eating awesome foods for you and for motivating yourself, because when you align yourself with your goals, it all falls into place magically.
First of all, if you haven’t read “You Are A Badass” by Jen Sincero, please do. I feel this book should be in school curriculums and made mandatory for everyone to read so that they realise their own amazing potential and gifts.
For me, self-love is a journey I’m on, and always will be on I’m sure as we’re always changing and evolving and forced to love the new, improved version of ourselves.
So I want to start with what exactly is self-love? I think self-love is looking at yourself, inside and out and being like “you’re amazing baby girl/boi” (which you should also tell yourself every single time you look at yourself).
Be your own #1 fan, realise no one can love you as much as you can love yourself, and nothing is as powerful as that love.
No one can tell you what to look like, sound like, act like, dress like, smell like, if you love yourself, because when you love something you do whatever you possibly can so that person is happy and fulfilled and living life to the max. That person needs to become you. We all have our upbringing, which impacts us a lot more than we probably think it would. Our parents are these people, who are just that – people. They just had a baby, and that baby is you and now you’re older and their best efforts to raise you, along with society doesn’t always praise self-love as the most important trait and experience a human can have. We’re encouraged to fit in, to play it safe, save for a rainy day, don’t cause too many problems, that kind of PG boring stuff, which leaves you feeling un-fulfilled, empty, looking for something to give you meaning and what it is to be you.
Another thing I feel is linked to self love is the parts about yourself that you don’t love.
Seriously, if there’s personality traits, habits, thoughts, actions, behaviours, anything you don’t like about yourself – don’t fucking comply, change that shit.
See yourself being the person you want to be, envision what this version of you does – sounds, smells, talks, walks, acts like, and start doing that. If your goal version of yourself drinks green smoothies, does pilates weekly, has eyebrows on fleek, then FUCKING DRINK A GREEN SMOOTHIE, BOOK A PILATES CLASS AND GET YO EYEBROWS DONE. If instead of deflecting compliments and downgrading yourself (for whatever weird reason we think this is normal, and inappropriate to accept a compliment), ACCEPT IT and just allow someone to express their thoughts on you, so that they’re able to improve your own. If you don’t like your lack of will power, cultivate it! Practice it, start off small, and build your way up, don’t expect to be able to go 0-100 real quick. And going off that, just focus on what you can do in the next 3 hours, 12 hours, 24 hours, to build you towards being this person you want to be. Break it down into bite size chunks that are manageable, and stop and celebrate all your victories along the way.
This all leads into sticking to your training / exercise / eating habits / health habits. Because like I was saying, when you love yourself, and realise you are a queen/king why would you eat things that hurt your body? That cause inflammation, gas, bloating, literally kill your cells? Cause cancer? Like you wouldn’t give that piece of “food” or that drink to someone you love, so why would you do it to yourself?
It’s just all about reframing and reshaping how you see food and your relationship with it. When you eat foods that you love and that love you back, not only does it improve release of serotonin, dopamine, all the feel good hormones, but your skin is better, digestion is better, so you’re not bloated and feeling self conscious and gross, you’re sleeping better so you’re performing better, thinking better, you’re taking care of yourself in the most basic way – with what you’re eating and doing.
You’re loving yourself enough to value what you put in your body, how you move your body. You know how amazing you feel when you move daily, eat nutritious foods and not give a fuck what others think of you for doing it. That’s another massive part of self-love, which leads into self-confidence and self-esteem – embracing and facing WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE. Like I’m still embracing who I am, my body changes every day like I’m sure yours does, some days my mind is super focused and I feel like a friggen magical genius, otherdays I’m all doubting myself and feel shit because a customer totally rejects me and is super rude hahah.
But the magic is to remember who you are, how amazing you are and that you’re actually really awesome and special.
So, write down what you love about yourself, be shallow, be deep, push past your boundaries and bring up things you don’t like about yourself that we want to evolve and change. We’ve all got our stories and use that, use your life to love yourself, if you’ve overcome hard times, YOU’RE AMAZING, if you’ve had your heart broken YOU’RE AMAZING, if you live a life of service (laura ing I’m lookin at you) YOU’RE AMAZING! Like realise that everything about yourself is amazing. And no one, is or ever will be you.
So do whatever you can do to make this you, the best version of you. Cut out toxic people, surround yourself with amazing positive souls who have traits and lives you admire and want, read killer books, watch inspiring documentaries, podcasts, do things you actually love – in where you’re able to live out your soul and express yourself regardless of how scary it feels or the doubts that come up, because really, what’s the worst that could happen?
So this leads into learning and teaching yourself to actually not give a fuck what other people think. A few fun facts 1) our amygdala (aka lizard brain) actually is involved in holding us back from things that make us scared, and what makes humans scared is being judged and outcasted by fellow human beings. Because back in the caveman days, if your tribe kicked you out – you were dead. Safety in numbers. That part of our brain hasn’t evolved that much, that’s why even if you’re not scared of public speaking, you still feel nervous, flustered, shaky, because it’s a threat to be in front of a big group of people, it meant danger, it meant you were seen – and if you were seen back in the day, usually meant shit was bout to go down. So we try to hide. Hide behind our stories we tell ourselves to keep ourselves safe in our little comfortable bubble, and nothing great happens from your comfort zone. These stories sound like “I cant afford that” “I’m bad at…” “I’m too busy” “I’m tired” "i've never been good at" “I’m too crazy” (one of my past personal favourites haha) and now im like “I’m just too awesome” for some people to handle.
All of this comes from the self, from within, so self love, self-esteem, self-confidence, is all up to you, no one can give it to you, you have to create it, have to shimmy in your own amazingness and not worry about what others think. Plus i'm sure they're not caring about how you feel, so why even give them that power to impact your feelings about yourself, ja feel?
2) Other peoples opinions is a reflection of their own insecurities. We’ve all heard someone be like “omg I love so and so, they’re so amazing” and then some hater is like “yeah but they used to X Y AND Z and they’ blah blah blah”. (blah blah blah = something really dumb and negative, trying to downplay this persons own awesomeness and hard work). Reality, that person is just deflecting their insecurities and at the same time, steals a bit of the magic from you that that person gives you.
Dead set, one of my favourite things to do is say everything you’re scared of, your biggest fears, biggest insecurities and then say “and I fucking love that”.
I’ll go first “I’m going to end up alone with no man to love me… and I fucking love that”. SEE HOW FUN IS THAT NOW, its reframed and now I envision being this badass bootylicious 50 year old like living my life up, still dropping it low to Ludacris.
So to bring this all around, and tie it into motivation, it’s a pretty simple equation. When you love yourself, you do things that benefits you – that make you feel good, that usually involves things that are awesome for you, like nutritious foods and exercise, and then you start seeing results, inside and outside. Your thoughts change, your body changes, and that builds momentum as well as self-love, because you realise the power you have to make yourself feel amazing and you begin to fall in love with yourself constantly because of that.
Happy loving yourselves