why so many millennials aren’t owning their health


So many of us millennials battle with our health, and you wanna know why?

Coz we don’t give a fuck about it.


We also tend to not own our health because we don’t want the responsibility. If we don’t feel good, that’s a sign we didn’t do something good, and we don’t like facing those types of things. We don’t want the expense and time that it takes to work to find a true solution, we’d just rather go see a doctor n take some antibiotics / pill / panadol and continue on our merry way.

 

We tend not to own our health because we don’t even know we have to? We always hear “you’re young, you’ll be fine / you’ll bounce back / you cant complain” yet I know lots of millennial’s suffering and suffocating in not being able to express that and get the help they need.

 

We tend not to own our health because we think it’s not super cool? And we want to be accepted and cool?

 

We tend not to own our health because we’re masters of making excuses, and we like immediacy and easy. That’s our middle names. And I’m the first to admit I prescribe to wanting everything now, meow.


We’ve grown up with everything being of access in an immediate foreseeable future. And so we think our health and wellbeing will be no different. But it ain’t. Like all the good things in life, that we want – success, happiness, love, freedom, security, Drake spooning us to sleep, it takes effort and creating habits that help get us there.

 

And if there’s a trademark of us millennial’s, it’s expecting to get what we want without exerting ourselves for it (but that’s what makes life good, ja feel, that pay off’s like oxygen).


We’re marketed quick fixes, and we always want that.

Whether it’s a “10 day detox”, “8 week shred program”, fat burning powder, 1 giant multivitamin pill, the morning after pill, panadol, antibiotics, lap band surgery, etc etc.

 

Making effort requires us to change, to break from our cycle, our comfort zones, our limiting belief’s that have curated our story. Our identity is our habits, our behaviour. I’ll say that again. Our identity, is our habits, our behaviours. So changing our habits and behaviours, literally challenges and changes our identity, and so we’re like oh krrrppppp and freak out, and tend to jump back into default mode, and thus we don’t actually change, and reap the benefits we know we’re worthy of, want, and can get, but don’t.

 

Stacking on top of this, is also the societal understanding that, changing habits and behaviours impacts our identity, and thus makes us open to judgement, criticism, belittling, resistance, because we’re revealing a new part of ourselves, and that’s vulnerability (BB aka Brene Brown).

Another reason we tend to default to the comfort zone, because the discomfort we feel when we’re changing and growing and evolving and trying new things is like AAAHHHH, and I have a baby secret for ya NO ONE REALLY GIVES A FUCK. SO DO YOU. The people that support you, which may surprise you, are the real peeps ya want in your life, the other fuckers who throw shade or judge you, meh.


So, why else aren’t millennials owning their health?

 

Because we make up excuses and again, these compact into limiting beliefs, which turn into behaviours and habits, which define us and our decisions. Some goodies include “I don’t have time” “I’m busy” “I’m tired” “it’s expensive” “it’s too confusing” “I don’t know where to start” “I don’t care” etc. etc.

 

And we both know these are just fallacies because we don’t have to fail if we don’t try right? Coz hello, we live in the dopest era, like hello iphones, hello internet, hello podcasts, hello audible, hello 23ndme, hello Google, hello free content on social media, hello globalisation, hello Afterpay, hello meal delivery companies, hello blogs and recipes etc etc. We make time for what we value and think is important. and improving our physical health ain't no different.

 

Its just bout carving out feeling bomb as a priority, which is random to know that we don’t give a fuck and it’s not high on our priority list. Which to me, being me, makes no sense, coz if you feel like shit, how can you show up and rock life. YA CANT. Coz you feel shit. So everything will be more effort and less awesome. Like, on all levels. Energy won’t be as good, ya skin won’t be as good, ya mood won’t be as good, confidence, sleep, sex, recovery, ideas, work, study, etc etc.

 

It’s like we think we’re just granted awesome health, which sadly, isn’t the entire case because of the environment and world we live in. All the processed foods, environmental toxins, blue light, dopamine dripping video content and social media, long work hours, night shift, over consumption, heavy metals, globalisation of food, microbiome disruptors, stress, and then the fucking slap in the face life gives us by just existing, takes it toll and we gotta protect our number one asset; our energy.

Because it’s all we got. Our energy and our health is the pillar to living fulfilled and optimising this time we got. Or because of how we’ve grown up, we just get used to feeling sluggish, unmotivated, fatigued, brain fogged, meh, and think this is just “normal” because everyone tells us it is.  So we settle. And think this is as good as it gets. Nuh-uh not on my watch bitches.


I posted on IG the other day, how on my phones a sticky note that said "my #1 goal; to wake people up”. And this is my core purpose and what this and all my blog’s underlying goal is; TO WAKE UP. It may be “normal” in our societal standards, but its not normal on a grand scheme to feel that way. You don’t have to settle for feeling average, you can level your life up on all levels, and nutrition is just one of these levels.


And like, I’ve been there. I’ve settled and was not at all #woke. I never really had any true overarching idea of my purpose, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, nutrition was the 6th degree I started (LOL), I went out n drank like erry weekend n a few weekdays haha, I’d just chill hungover eating macca’s, blocks of cadbury, whatever, I didn’t even really care, i was fatigued, bloated, inflamed, fluid retentioned, holding heaps of excess fat, my hair and nails wouldn’t grow, I could sleep for fucking ages, I was like a pendulum and would get disappointed / upset / angry easily, and I honestly don’t even think I thought about bigger picture things. Like my scope of life was so small, and just tunnel visioned on nothing, jus party n bullshit. And I can’t even relate to that baby girl, I understand her, but am like omg how did I live like that, like now I cant even fathom that, because I’ve woken up to how good it feels to feel good, and take care of yourself, and I feel that emanates in my life. And you too can have that feeling. It’s creating the awareness and implementing the strategies and discipline and commit to changing, knowing everything you want, you can have, it just takes work.


So, ask for help. DM people, utilise social media, soak up the good messages and tips, follow people that inspire and motivate you, there’s so much free content out there, or pay to add value so you’re more likely to see it through, get people to hold you accountable, surround yourself with people who encourage you, not be like “omg don’t be lame” and peer pressure you.

 

Rather that treating feeling like shit, and medicating issues, pave the preventative path now, so you don’t have to deal with that shit. Give yourself the best possible chance. Value and prioritise your health, because it’s the foundation of everything. Don’t be afraid of fucking up, breaking our “diet” - (which as a side note, has been created to mean something its not. A diet, is the food we eat. We all have a diet, because we all eat food.)

 

Don’t be afraid to try something new out of fear of judgement, be afraid of taking advantage of your magic and power and the epicness you can have when you just put more effort into bettering yourself.

 

Das all.

One love,  notorious E.L.I aka TMN aka Drake’s future wife if my manifestation goes to plan

book review: extreme ownership

By Jocko Willink & Leif Babin

OKAY SO. SERIOUSLY. I LOVED THIS BOOK SOOOOOOO MUCH. I found it hard to put down, and so smashing it in a week was inevitable.

Also, as a side note (you probably don't even care haha but hey), as things are starting to pick up and more work is coming in, my reviews are most likely going to be fornightly / monthly, just as I need to divi up my reading time between epic personal development and nutritional biochem/physiology etc. so I can better serve my clients and THE ENTIRE WORLDDDDDD. 


But fuck that for right now, coz this book was epic.

And A MUST READ FOR EVERY MILLENNIAL ENTREPRENEUR, CEO & LEADER OUT THERE!

So any tangible insights and lessons. I not only have such an epic enhanced respect for all the men and women who serve their countries and defend our freedom and safety, but reading this just makes me excited to implement and execute on the principles in real life, whether you’re an employee, employer, leader, role model, older sister, son, teacher, whatever. There is so much wisdom and golden nuggets in this book.

Also, as each chapter starts with examples of U.S. SEAL Team Task Unit Bruiser & Charlie Platoon’s missions and experiences serving in the Iraq war, the aspect of story telling and taking you to another world created (for me anyways) a refreshing break from always reading non-fiction, and just created so much magic for me. AND IF JOCKO & LEIF YOU EVER READ THIS, I LOVE AND THANK YOU. 


KEY TAKE AWAYS + QUOTES:

-       You have to take responsibility and ownership of everything that goes wrong. No more playing the blame game. “The leader must own everything in his or her world. There is no one else to blame. The leader must acknowledge mistakes and admit failures, take ownership of them, and develop a plan to win”. (pg. 30).

e.g If your boss isn’t supporting you team, blame yourself. Not your boss. ‘Examine what you can do better to convey the critical information for decisions to be made and support allocated” (pg. 237).

-       Taking complete ownership =  gaining respect and trust from our teams and those in our lives. (win win bruh). 

-       “...You must remove individual ego and personal agenda. It’s all about the mission. How can you best get your team to most effectively execute the plan in order to accomplish the mission” (pg. 35). 

-       “leaders must always operate with the understanding that they are a a part of something greater than themselves and their own personal interests” (pt. 76-77). And believe in this cause, with unwaiviering confidence.

-       Focus on the immediate goal.

Complete. Then the next immediate goal. This not only, ensures maximum effort and energy is exerted, it also enables us to feel accomplished, build confidence, momentum and can blunt the pain, inertia and procrastination that often overwhelms us when we have a big mission to accomplish. 

-       Following on from this; “determine the highest priority task and execute” (pg. 161) aka prioritize & execute.

-       “Own problems that inhibit performance, and develop solutions to those problems”(pg. 50). And keep these to being simple. Simplicity is key. Less confusion. Less complexity, less chances of compounding into disaster. This also ensures every team member understands the plan, increasing the chances of success, as they “commit to the mission, [and] persevere through the inevitable challenges” (pg. 74)

-       “its not what you preach, its what you tolerate” (pg. 54).

-       “if substandard performance is accepted and no one is held accountable – if there are no consequences - that poor performance becomes the new standard” (pg. 54).  – Leaders must push the standard.

-       “leaders should never be satisfied. They must always strive to improve, and they must build that mindset into the team: (pg. 55). Good leaders identify weaknesses, and seek to strengthen them.

-       Striving for greater performance and standard starts with the individual and spreads to the team, creating a culture of high performance and where everyone is held to the same standards.

-       Leaders “must remain calm and make the best decision possible… Relax, look around, make a call.” (pg. 161). “Don’t try to do everything at once, or you wont be successful” (pg. 165)

-       And when we’re pressed with an order in which we do not understand, we NEED TO ASK WHY. It is the why that enables the full belief, the confidence and a full deploy of energy and efforts to achieve the order.

-       In regards to management “human beings are generally not capable of managing more than 6 – 10 people” (pg. 183). Leaders need to empower and communicate effectively to subordinates, to enable larger teams to function and move as one unit. And to establish junior leaders to be “proactive rather than reactive”. (pg 184.) Enabling junior leaders (in whatever context) ensures us as leaders are able to strategise and see the larger picture, spot holes and ways to improve.

-       “Open conversations build trust. Overcoming stress and challenging environments builds trust. Working through emergencies and seeing how people react builds trust” (pg. 191). 

-       Never assume hazards aren’t waiting for you. Assume they are. And plan for them.  

-       Evaluation of outcomes and performance is key. Constantly analyse, and “implement lessons learned for future missions”. (pg. 106) aka check yoself.

-       “leaders must…act on logic, not emotion” (pg. 253). FEAR = inaction. 

-    We  “must act “decisively amid uncertainty; to make the best decisions [we] can based on only the immediate information available” (pg. 254). and this applies to EVERY DECISION WE MAKE. don't let indecision paralyse you (lol says me)

-       “waiting for the 100% right and certiain solution leads to delay, indecision and an inability to execute” (pg. 255). DON’T PROCRASTINATE OR SIT ON A DECISION. Educated guesses have to happen. None of this “wait and see” mentality. Make the outcome happen.

-       “DISCIPLINE IS THE PATHWAY TO FREEDOM” (pg. 274).

In regards to time, being disciplined enough to get up when that FIRST alarm goes off (discipline) gives you more free time (freedom) which propels you forward.

-       “a true leader is not intimidated when others step up and take charge”. (pg. 274). Don’t fear being outshined by someone else, that = a lack of self-confidence. We all gon be able to shine. Abundance mindset babies


YAY

That’s the end of my love of and review of Extreme Ownership

Get your copy of Extreme Ownership

Peep Jocko's (@jockowollink) TEDx talk below (too good)

xxx E aka TMN aka April's speed reader 

 

deep dive - it’s not me, its you.

Literally though. (unless, maybe it is you because you're a jerk. but in contexts, it's usually them haha, so jus hear me out)

 

So, unapologetically i wrote this last week, because there was this crazy reoccurring theme that I kept being confronted with (and no lie, this week was no different either hey). Whether its personally, or friends sharing their experience, or just it being brought up in conversation. This idea of, how others treat you, respond, interact, react, is never on you. It’s always on them.


Newton's third law of physics (essentially says) - for every interaction, there is a reaction.

And most people's reactions are their armours (Brene Brown ya queen). How they deal and interact is based upon their own environment, experiences, habits, limiting beliefs, stories that define them and their upbringing. (and guess what, you are also one of these 'people'!!! haha). 


This can play out in many scenarios. most of which, i'm damn sure you've experienced, and been left over-thinking, replaying, confused, upset and just like "wtf".

Whether it’s a friend who always puts you down, whether directly or indirectly, sneakily, just those little comments that you catch yourself being like “am I really like that?”.

Whether it’s a parent’s comments or lack of support in a decision you’ve made or want to make, that makes you second-guess yourself and think maybe you should do the opposite (theres a time and place though yo).

Whether it’s a boss that loses their shit at you, and makes you feel worthless, guilty and belittled.

Whether it’s a customer that made you feel inadequate and useless.

Whether it’s a lover no longer interested, that makes you replay things in your head and wonder what you did wrong.

And I’m here to tell you, nothing. In all these scenarios, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not you. It’s them. 

You’re never not enough.

You’re never worthy of being treated unfairly. It’s always just an insight into their pain, vulnerability, insecurities and lack of self-awareness.


They’re armoured up. They’re standing there, hiding their vulnerability, shame, confusion, and instead, inflict a type of self-pain via you, their outlet, to ease their misalignment.

Inside, they’re not aligned with their purpose, their magic, their why, their soul, whatever you want to name it. They’re not happy. Not content. Not fulfilled. Not abundant. Not thriving. So, the only way to ease the pain, is to dish it out, and make others seem the same, feel the same, so we’re not alone. Which is our human condition. To connect. To not be alone. To relate. So, by these actions, they feel less alone, less insecure, less vulnerable.

 

It’s often difficult to separate other people’s opinions and perspectives of us, and our own intuitive internal one. I feel as humans we depend on the external to align and reaffirm our internal. We’re constantly in taking cues and signals from the periphery, to the central, to relay information to our brains and keep us safe and in check. And I don’t see why this is any different with other people.

 

We’re constantly in a feedback loop, and when the people around you, are not aligning with your internal perspective, things can get skewed.

Like our self-worth. Our self-esteem. Our confidence.

And these things are essential arsenals to get through this life of ours. They cause us to either armour up, shut out, or just let ourselves be hurt and confused, OR be thriving millennials.


So I write this, as a reminder that, whether it’s happening to you, has happened, or in preparation for when it does happen. In these times, when you come face to face with these people and situations, where you feel you’re not enough, not worthy, stop. Be aware of this idea. And realise, it’s not you. You are enough. You are worthy. This is not a flaw of yours, but rather a flaw of theirs. And it is to take no impact upon you, your heart, soul, mood, or state. It shall not dim your light, distract you, impact you, it shall pass on through. And all we can wish for, is that these people wake up to their vulnerabilities and flaws, meet them face to face, and progress, self-develop so they too can pass on the message of, it’s not you. It’s them. 


Also, as I sit on my couch, listening to G-Eazy, the nostalgia of remembering how for so long, I was so UNAWARE that it wasn’t me. That I wasn’t the one not worthy. That it’s them. They’re not worthy. Of your energy, friendship, love, effort, apology, and time. And all we can do is see it for what it is, and let is pass through.

And check yourself also. As you're also the them. so be aware.

wake up to the kind of patterns of behaviour you're repeating, based upon your own armour and insecurities.

And sit with it. think about it. and make the conscious choice to go forward separated from this automated behaviour. rewrite your own interface. 


I also feel, as a side note that this message is intended to be consumed by those already on the path of self-awareness. And is encouraged not as to instil a victim mentality, but rather a self-preserving idea. That this concept, doesn't really apply to those situations where you're indeed, being an asshole, and it is, indeed your fault. haha

One love

E aka TMN aka check yoself before you wreck yoself 

book review: crushing it!

by Gary Vaynerchuk. 

So I’m low key proud of me reading a book in a week, and reading Crushing it!

was super compelling, motivating, inspiring and now I feel like I have to read Crush It! to get the full crush experience (and Jab Jab Jab, Right Hook).


This books a cute ead for all you millennial entrepreneurs/wantrepreneeurs/intrapreneurs/interpreneurs out there, 99.99% of whom I’m sure chew down Gary’s content or at least, know who the fuck he is haha.

The value you’ll get out of this book is tangible, digestible information and tips into utilising social media, applied to such a broad range of hobbies morphed and exploded into successful, thriving business’. Gary draws inspiring stories from protégé’s and fans who applied the CrushIt! content in 2009, with reoccurring themes that encompass Gary’s entire message (which is prevalent throughout his content)

 

-       Ooze passion & authenticity

-       Play the long game over the short win.

-       Be patient.

-       Work insanely fucking hard.

-       Document and share.

-       Engage and offer as much value to others as   humanely possible.

-       Think about your legacy.

 

(or at least this is just my perspective on the goat that is Gary Vee).


Tbh, writing this review was harder than others, as each page I feel there was a take-away or some relevant message or idea you could ingest and adapt to your own. I often found myself reading but my mind was like racing with how I can apply that to my own brand and playing out scenarios in my head haha.

What’s given is, obviously, my perspective and what I took from the book, so cop yourself a copy and see what value it’ll bring you. I’m not really going to go into Gary’s guiding principles which he consistency conveys throughout his content (like “eat shit”), but rather book specific nuggets from the stories he tells and the insights he provides. 


KEY TAKE AWAYS:

-       our personal brand is everything. It’s what enables us to break away from current success’ and persona’s and if we’re branded as “the __ person”. It gives us creative freedom to express and try out different ventures and dabble. -  e.g “Oprah was not just a talk show host. Muhammad Ali was not just a boxer. The Rock is not just a wrestler” (pg.18). You and your personal brand will grow, evolve, adapt so don’t get too caught up in

-       youtube / video / SM / phone content is the new TV (if we haven’t realised this already). It’s everything. It’s what we primarily consume nowadays. You can create a successful thriving, bottle poppin, million dollar income from it. So get cracking. And get used to stagnation. No one loving you. Your family and friends thinking you’re crazy.

-       Figure out which platforms to utilise to boost your content and gain a following. Like is video your best medium? Writing content? Audio? All of them?

-       Sacrifice is part of the hustle. You have to go through hard times, and “eat shit” for ages.

-       There is no “prescribed route”. We need to completely throw away this conditioning of a path, whats “realistic”, fathomable, like we need to fuck off with the safe mentality we’ve been spoon fed since birth. Follow your passion, make it work and it’ll happen. Dream big my babies.

-       Think about your skills, what do you have to offer? And leverage that to step closer to where you want to be. You have assets. Don’t underestimate yourself.

-       Confronting ourselves and breaking down our own insecurities is crucial. We need to be aware of where we’re cock blocking ourselves, e.g “I understand that I am in complete control, and that’s an overwhelming feeling, because it means you could always be doing more, and it means you might not be doing enough” - Amy Schmittauer (pg. 27) @schmittastic

-       Deepen your level of care – (Lewis Howes, pg 37) @lewishowes. Don’t swap short term wins/moolah for long term gains.

-       Be yourself and don’t’ be sorry for it – “Crush It! And his other books allowed me to just be who I am and not be sorry about it” – Lauryn Evarts (pg 46). @theskinnyconfidential

- “Passion is your back up generaor when all your other energy sources start to sputter” (pg 47).

/ come see me and lets help keep all ya energy levels at a decent 80% alwayssss

-       Pay attention to everything. “Where are the eyeballs going? What are your customers talking about? What are the newest trends in your field? What are the biggest controveries? (pg 71).

-  Teach by example.

-       “None of us can predict with utmost certainty exactly what’s going to happen to us. We will probably meet the people we arrange to meet, but we could also have random encounters. We will probably have the conversations we have schedules, but who knows where those talks might go? (pg 80.) BOOM. Flirt with fate.

-       Documenting ensures you’re building a personal brand, which anyone can do with IG stories and Snapchat. And we all love BTS tings.

-       Don’t just copy and paste content from FB/IG/Youtube, re-purpose the content so it’s original and aligns with that platform and audience.

-  Own what you do.

-       Collabs are what’s up.

-       Story telling is forever key. It’s how we connect as humans. And social media gives us the ultimate platform and opportunity to tell and share our story. Remember you’re also the author. So you’re able to create your own story.  

-       He also goes through Muscil.ly, Snap, Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, IG, Podcasts and Voice-First, and explains the power of these platforms, and provides success stories and I’m sure will flood your mind and open yourself up to the so many opportunities that can come about from utilising and owning these platforms.

-       Like the old working model is dead. No job is “safe”. So why the fuck not bet on yourself and create what you’ve always wanted to. 


YAY

That’s the end of my mini review on Crushing It!. WEOW.

Cop your copy of Crushing It!

Gary’s youtube

@garyvee 

xxx E aka TMN aka eating shit forever hah

 

a how to guide for detoxing negative people


A HOW TO GUIDE FOR DETOXING NEGATIVE PEOPLE FROM YOUR LIFE

Or hey. at least i tried to give you a guide. 

SO in this blog we’re going to explore how to let go of toxic people in our lives. Practising this will enable us to fully transform and step into who we want to be, and make space for g things to manifest.

 

We’ll explore the tangible steps to take to let go of toxic people, how to eradicate guilt, letting go of others opinions and validation (as they’re usually toxic and don’t serve us), and how we should aim to be following inspirational or purposeful people on social media, who align with our truth. And then moving in alignment and how to surround ourselves with people who will propel us forward.


So, lawd knows that I’ve done my fair share of culling toxic people from my life. And I don’t mean this to come across as rude or bitchy or me being an entitled person at all. It just is what it is.

We’re constantly evolving as people, and each new level requires a new version of ourselves. And so often, we have to shed the people who in the past, have helped up, but they tend to hold us back when we try to level up, because they’re afraid and have their own set of limiting beliefs.

When we decide to consciously let go of people who no longer serve us in life, it’s important to communicate it effectively to that person, not beat ourselves up or second guess if we’re a “good person” and not feel obligated to stay stuck and pour our energy into these people. It’s also okay to mourn a friendship/relationship/familyship/workship/mentorship/clientship whatever you had with these people.

It’s okay to reminisce and hold memories in our hearts, and to remember the good times and connection we had. And then we learn to let that go. With no ill feelings or negativity. Just as a self-progression must do. It’s like school. Each year, we have to go into a new year, a new class, a new teacher, and we miss the old ones but know it’s for our own growth. It’s like that. In real life application.


So, how do you know when a person is no longer serving you / is toxic?

 

-       they put your ideas down – constantly. This is the whole “I was thinking about x, y, z” and they’re all like “oh true.” But add zero input, or just make you feel dumb, belittled, unimportant, seem disinterested, offer no value or feedback.

-       They often meet you with “what if’s”, play the worst case scenario every scenario, make you double think yourself, that kind of thing.

-       These people also tend to like to keep you exactly where you are – because you’re right there with them. And they cling to that safety, reassurance and sense of certainty. Which is suffocating to you and your growth.

-       They tend to not have developed much, in regards to ideas, values, day-to-day things, they usually respond with “oh you know, same shit different day”.

-       They’re unable to meet your level of excitement when you’re excited about an idea, venture, dream, etc. They’re like party poopers.

-       They talk about themselves 99% of the time.

-       They offer no tangible help or advice.

-       They tell you to “be realistic”.

-       You feel drained, not energised when you see them / speek to them. It feels like a chore and “something you have to do”.

-       You start to get the feels of avoidance. Like seeing them is like “man id soooo rather not”.

-       You have fuck all to talk about. Except old times.

-       You realise the connection is gone. And that’s okay. We just recognise each other as people we once loved, and the loves there it’s just not in the present moment.


So, we’re realising that this person isn’t serving us (you’re nodding and being like “oh shit, yes”). And just makes us feel like we’re stuck. What’s next?

 

Next we take action.


I feel the most appropriate approach is to slowly but surely, let the ‘ship’ die. Sounds harsh but just follow me for a second. They ask you to hang out / catch up/ do something? You don’t need to make an excuse. You can just honestly say “hey I can’t sorry!! Hope you have a good time though!!”. We’re not obliged to create fake scenarios and it just adds unnecessary stress to our lives, and lying is shit. Lets just be honest.

 

So each opportunity, we just let it pass. We don’t engage. We don’t give our energy, we just keep it chill, and polite. And if they’re like “I don’t see you anymore wtf”, you can just say “I know I’m sorry, I just don’t do what we used to do, like it doesn’t serve me anymore”. And either they understand and respect that, and have the awareness to realise you’re changed and that’s not your thing, and whether they then reach out to ask you about your own self growth and help them to fuel there’s, and then there’s potential for the ship to continue, or they just accept it for what it is, and no longer make effort either and that’s how it sizzles away.

 

I don’t feel there needs to be any beef or negative confrontation, although I’ve had to had a few awkward af conversations being like “yeah so I’m probably not going to see you anymore type thing, just because I don’t feel we align and add value to each others lives”. And yep. They thought I was a fucking bitch. But I did what was right in my heart and for me and my future. And didn’t feel the need to sugar coat shit for their sake. And the same has happened to me in reverse, where I’ve had ships who have outgrown me, and I’m the one reaching out and getting the “I’ve grown yo” response. And it’s kinda invigorating and brutal at the same time. Like I realised and was like HOLY FUCK THIS MEANS I NEED TO LEVEL UP TOO MAN BECAUSE THIS PERSON MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. And thus, the first scenario I described happened.

 

And the opposite also happened, a friend just stopped talking to me. And I made a bunch of effort. And nothing. And I was like “aight” because I had the awareness to realise that she might be experiencing that I no longer served her, or could add value to her life, and we just didn’t align. And so I stopped making the effort. That’s also an optional approach. To just not make effort. Not reply. Nu phone who dis?

 

That’s the more upfront method to getting rid of toxic people.


Other ways is, just to sugar coat it if you feel more comfortable, and make reasons and excuses for your absence, and just hope they get the drift and let you go.

Also, the more you hang out with people you want to be around and who drive you, add value, energise you, will also create more space between you and them, thus makes it easier to make the transition.

And with social media these days, its so easy for people to get what we’re about, what we’re doing, our changing identity, etc. It’s not like some mysterious thing. I think it’s fairly obvious when you see a person change. And you vibe the energy, its usually different.

When we let go of toxic people, we make space for new ships to come in, the universe will align it / make effort, reach out in the DM’s, be at spaces you want to be where your tribe will be, and connect.


And upon this journey of detoxing people out of your lives, is to let go of any power their opinions or any validation they give you. Learn and know that their opinions are sourced from their experiences. Their belief systems. Their upbringing, their lives. Not yours.

And so, unless you feel it serves a purpose to respect and take on their opinion, unless its challenging you, constructive feedback, fuck it. You can listen, but you don’t have to absorb it. You don’t have to let it penetrate your energy bubble as I call it (essentially your energy has a bubble around you, and it protects you from shit people and shit advice and haters and other stuff) its like a wall, but less rigid. Coz we want to let some stuff in, but not others. Like a blood brain barrier haha.

Release the validation they give you. Release their opinions manifesting into your own. Let it go. And fill that space with your own, or those who you aspire to be like, admire and love.

It’s okay to let go, it’s okay to feel guilty, but feel it, acknowledge it, and let it go. Let it pass on through. It’s not worth marinating in and fucking with your head.


Will you have an identity crisis? Who knows. I have one like every week I reckon haha. Like Dre used to say “how are ya, who are ya, why are ya, what are ya”. (also the greatest set of questions ever @1drayza). It’s a convoluted bitter sweet, like letting go of people who have had such tremendous input and impact in your life, to forge your own path without negative input or being held back.

 

So hopefully, reading this has made you aware of those in your life that aren’t cheering you on to success, happiness and growth. And I’ve hopefully eloquently (lol) explained some approaches to creating distance and removing these people from your lives.


Now, to add onto this is non-real life friends, its our instagram feeds and FB home page. With the algorithms in place as they are, we have even more of an ability to only consume the content of those we engage with and want to (just saying tho, bring back chronological IG feeds bruh).

 

I often go through “unfollowing” sprees, in which SAVAGE AF TO HEAR BUT I just unfollow people that legit don’t align with my values, or just don’t really do anything for me. It’s like passive consumption of keeping you complacent and settling and stuck. I also feel on this, it’s okay to not follow people you love if what they’re uploading and sharing doesn’t add to your life. Like you can still love people and not follow them haha. We’re not socially or morally obliged to follow anyone. And I feel a lot of us are afraid to do that, out of fear of confrontation or hurting peoples feelings or making it a bigger deal than what it is. Like we need to take the power away from it.

 

So, unfollow those people who are toxic / don’t add value and start following awesome pages and people that inspire, motivate, encourage, support and challenge you to level up and live your true self.


I also feel on this entire topic, im not saying “purge everyone in your entire life who is negative or adds negativity” because that’s not how the world works. They’re will always be negative push backs from people in our lives, its more just take the power away from it. Don’t engage in it, and surround yourself with a team of bad bitches, not whiners, low energy, scarcity mindset, limited peeps 24/7. Like construct your life, make space and attract awesome influential people into your lives.

 

YAY THE END.

 

Let me know your thoughts on this blog, whether via IG @themillennialnutritionists or below 

 

Love e, aka TMN aka the negativity eraser aka the bubble creator 


 
 

The paradox of an independent millennial


The paradox of an independent millennial

So, just a heads up that this blog is a bit random, and I don’t even know if I’m articulating what I’m trying to say in a value adding way. But, it’s happening, soooooo this blog is a bit more in-depth, personal and somewhat just a reflection of my own insight, that was brought to light when travelling alone in Bali, and upon talking about it with my girl @indigo_child14, turns out its not just a party of 1.

I feel there is almost a lingering paradox for the modern millennial.

We’re meant to be independent, yet the human condition is to be connected. A part of a tribe, a community, a family, a group, whatever it may be. As humans, it’s an innate need to be needed and to contribute and add value, and not be alone. We’re a species, a race, and biologically that’s how we survive and flourish – together.

 

So why is independence trade marked as such a strong powerful trait, when success is always attributed to a combined effort, to a community, a network? Why is the power of 1, better than the power of 3? (YOU KNOW I HAD TO THROW A CHARMED REFERENCE IN) because even Charmed knew the power of 3 was the only thing that could defeat evil, twas a combined effort.(ps Alyssa Milano will always be #1)

 

I feel our society celebrates the individual, we all love the story of “the power of one”, they’re celebrated, idolised, and that trickles back into society feeding our ideals around independence. That we have to do everything on our own. That that’s strength. 

There’s good and bad in being dependent and independent. On one end of the spectrum, there’s individuals who are heavily co-dependent, and lose their sense of self, or have no sense of self because they’re constantly requiring input and feedback from people to navigate who they are, their dreams etc etc.

Yet, the other end of the spectrum are fierce fully fledged independent individuals who are content and whole with themselves, and don’t rely on others for anything. But that’s a lonely place to be.

So i feel finding our healthy middle ground on this scale is ideal - as there is power and resiliency in independence, just like there is power and resiliency in dependence. 

This conscious realisation hit me because upon being truly alone, removed from my comfortable environment, my safe bubble, it hits you. This like almost “soul-ache” for connection. You’re out there, wilin' like “what’s so good about being so god damn independent?” “why can’t I depend on someone?” "why the fuck did i think going to bali alone was a good idea?" (it wasn't a bad idea, because it definitely fuelled some growth). I find it even hard to grasp the weird complexity of the entire thing, because for me, I’ve adopted this independent persona, made it part of me, but I feel under this layer of myself, is just a girl who wants to be able to depend on others? Even if you get let down. Who cares. That’s part and parcel of playing the human race game. Coz aint no body perfect (cheers Miley).

SO how is this blog and mind rant going to help you?

Two things,

FIRST - I feel being alone, with no connection to people via the internet and sitting with yourself brings forth some interesting realisations and space for self exploration. Because, its just you out there. wilin’. You’re forced to actually look at yourself. To explore yourself. To question yourself. It’s both frightening as fuck, and also liberating. Because the level of discomfort is one you get comfortable with, which is a recipe for growth in life, as @lisamessenger so gorgeously preaches, and as the lovely @inthera also told me.

discomfort = growth.

So, I feel I’d like to offer an experiment for all you hunni millennials out there. Give yourself a time frame. Whether it’s an hour, or half a day or a few days, where you’re purely alone. Have a book, a podcast, music, a journal, whatever, but nothing that truly knocks you out of your presence. And just sit or walk or move. See what pops up. Its almost like meditation, but we’re inviting the feels and thoughts to come through. Because what comes forth is usually what’s meant to be explored and addressed, away from our safe bubbles and notifications and reinforcing ideals. The solo exploration is an advantageous one.

SECONDLY,

and the moral of my story; IT’S OKAY TO NEED PEOPLE. I see my friends and people around me subconsciously knowing they need help or someone, yet, it's like we're blinded to it. It's okay to ask for support with anything, like for me, most of my friends its emotional support as well as nutritional support so they're not burning out can keep being amazing and doing amazing things. yet theres the resiliency to be like "yo, i'm not okay in this area, and i need you". It’s not weak. It doesn’t mean you’re any less fierce or independent or strong or amazing or anything. It’s okay to depend on others, to accept help, and don’t feel you have to always do everything on your own. 

That’s all. Baby brain rant. 

LOTS OF LOVE

E aka TMN aka negotiating independent woman?

deep dive - the "not enough" dialogue

Just FYI, I feel Justin's album so perfectly fitted this topic, so you know i had to. 


So I’ve been wanting to jump into more holistic ways of expressing myself, even though I love nutrition I also am so passionate about abundance living and feel following your soul is the way to live.

Like, we as millennials live in the most abundant time in history, we have access to anything and everything within a few touches, swipes, and keyboard clicks. Yet, something is still holding us back from jumping out of our comfortable pond into the deep unknown, where a part of us has such a yearning and desire to be. And that blockage is the words and stories we tell ourselves, and have been told our entire lives.

This concept of “not enough” - not enough, money, time, resources, support, reasoning, we’re conditioned to settle and accept what we have as enough, and compare it to those who aren’t as privileged or blessed as up as a way of keeping us in this comfortable pond. And yet this is even further re-engineered to keep up in our pond by providing content of lives that seem impossible to achieve, and so it knocks any dreams and ideas we have back down, reinviting that self-esteem gremlin to emerge and keep us comfortable where we are. 

 


But this is where we need to smash these concepts and not settle. Don’t just be complacent thinking this is all you can ever get, or will have. Don’t feel guilty or bad or ashamed to demand more of yourself, your environment, your surroundings and your life. Don’t feel bad for wanting to break away from your pond and just put yourself out there, and yes failing is part of it. Feeling vulnerable is part of it. I

t’s scary. You feel alone, confused, unsure, stupid, anxious, lame, and any other emotion you’ve probably experienced when you jump outside your comfort zone / pond. But what always happens on the other side? Damn do you feel liberated, proud, strong and more in touch with yourself. You grow. And that’s essential.

 


I feel to cultivate this kind of thinking, mentality and actually acting on it, we need to do it on a daily basis, on a smaller scale, and build up the confidence and trust that it’ll all work out as its meant to. All hardships are lessons and blessings that build resilience, a deeper understanding of self and what we’re here to do. Its all relative and all about perspective.

So every day, lets do something small that scares you, or is different to what we’re currently doing. For me, I’ll switch up where I get my coffee, push myself to talk to customers I’d usually avoid / ignore (soz not soz), have conversations and connect with people I usually don’t invest in, hit on hotties and just own the rejection, have uncomfortable conversations, wear clothes that make me feel insecure, because its only through going through things, do we surface victorious.

We’re like Mario at the end, where you run really fast and jump as high as you can onto the flag to enter the next world. I also feel like Mario world is the ULTIMATE analogy for life! Like the levels, the end goal aka Peach, the helpers (stars, 2ups, 2 player), and the fall-backs, which cause us to shrink back in size and feel not so invincible.

 


So, following your purpose and finding your passion and adding more meaning to you life. How do we even do this? How many books do I need to read to learn the “secret sauce”? From my experience, it’s pretty simple.

Change.

You don’t like something,

Change.

We don’t have to stay stuck. Yes, certain circumstances may cause us to stay somewhere for longer than we’re wanting, but there’s always an option, always a way to switch our mentality and attitude and just decide to do what we want. To be grateful for where we are. To accept challenges and shitty times as testaments to building your character.

If you have no idea, do little things every day that make you happy, that you love. Realign with yourself. Learn about yourself. Better yourself. Push yourself. Explore yourself. It’s only through taking the time to stop and look inside who you truly are, can you find what you truly want in life. And it’s not an overnight journey. It’s a practice, you gotta keep doing it, and keep building to get to that next world. Which is there. We all know someone whose on that level and its like damn, show me what you did and how you did it because I wanna be where you are.

And that’s another thing, consume the content of those who inspire you. Aspire to listen, learn, and apply. Surround yourself with those that push you to level up, whether tangible or not. For me, it’s books, it’s Tom Bilyeu’s Impact theory, it’s podcasts (scope my fave books in this blog). And I feel blessed that last year I truly felt I had started to develop an amazing bunch of individuals around me, who I didn’t feel I had to play down or act like someone else to make them feel comfortable. We could talk about REAL SHIT. So invest in relationships, whether it’s with an author and a connection you have to their work, or someone in your life.There’s the infamous story in Napoleon Hill’s novel “Think and grow rich” how he’d create his own “round table” and in it, he’d have conversations and throw ideas off his idols, most of whom were dead and legends. And he imagined them talking back to him and offering him advice. Like fuck it. Why not.

Whether you want to journal, meditate, just stop and breath, put your phone down and sit with your thoughts and see what bubbles to the surface. 

 


So amongst all the noise that exists in our millennial lives, trying to distract us, keep us complacent and “cogs in the wheel” as Seth Godin so eloquently puts it, being a creative individual is your super power. There is only one you having this experience. So why stay in the shadows hiding?

I think its time for a revolution. Where everyone emerges from the shadows, takes off their armour and shows up as their authentic selves with their mission tightly coiled around themselves. Where we encourage and support each other, where it’s okay to feel vulnerable and share those feelings and not lock them away because we’re conditioned to feel we have to act and behave in certain mannerisms to “appear” successful. It’s time for each of us to step into the light and share our unique gifts, share our humanity, to make some kind of meaning to our time on earth, to create an impact, to feel fulfilled and have a rich abundant life. 

 

ONE LOVE

E aka TMN aka Justin Bieber day 1 fan girl